If you come across my little blog feel free to message me if something hits home.
So I’ve got 30 diagnose and it is climbing, going the wrong way but there are lots of things I can do to help myself.
My biggest disability is Agoraphobia. I’ve not been outside except medical appointments since the start of lockdown, I was shielding and I got so used to being at home all the time, alone that now I struggle to get out the front door.
Ps if you the kind of person who wants it to be grammatical and everything spelled right don’t bother with me, I’m Autistic, has ADHD and dyslexia. This is a bones and all account, I haven’t got ime to check it’s spelt right, I’m in flo state and the only things that matter to me is getting it down on my blog.
Agoraphobia
.I thought I would talk about it first. It is debilitating. I haven’t been in a shop for so long I can’t remember what it’s like and because of this I’m afraid to go in one, it’s a vicious circle.
I miss the weather (every and all weathers) and I miss hearing the birds sing. I dare t even look out of my window.
I go to bed at 6pm and wake at 2am just so I don’t have too put up with life going on around me.
Remember I said I still go to medical appointments because I have to. Well in order to do that I need a carer and I have to take sedation.
I arm myself with noise cancelling headphones and mirrored glasses (more for Autism but don’t worry we will get to that) I like to be in my wheelchair. All of these are protection. Sedation. So I can cope with the feelings and noise cancelling headphones that dull the sounds that terrify me. Mirrored glasses so noone can tell if I am giving them eye contact (Autism again) you will find that one condition has links to the others. Being in my wheelchair is like having big metal walls around me keeping me safe from other people and I can’t walk far anyway (whoops I did I again, another condition making an appearance.)
Well I’m pleased to say there is light at the end of he tunnel.
I went food shopping, only to my small local co op but I would call that a win and give myself a round of applause.
I went with my walker, it’s too small for a wheelchair and I was tired when I got home.
This week I thought I would test myself and went to Aldi!! I was terrified. I went in my wheelchair and I don’t like the wheelchair trolleys, you can’t see anything. The lights frightened me, the amount of space frihtened me and he choices of food made me feel afraid but I am going this week and the next until I’m not afraid anymore
I’ve also been to a park, something I used to love but don’t love anymore and I’m planning to goo a library soon as well.
I mean what I say, I am going to improve this year and the only person who can do it is me,
I must give a shout out to Rachel and Jackie for getting me an amazing walker, with a seat, for free. It is amazing and people are so kind.
Until next time I will leave you with this thought
If there is some thing in your life you want to change get on and do it, small steps count, the only person who can do It is you, don’t wait for other people, be empowered.
Speak soon……
talktoimogen 